# When the Tarot Cannot Speak: On Deck Proliferation and Real-World Grief In recent years, the market has become flooded with tarot decks. There’s a deck for every aesthetic, identity, fandom, and spiritual leaning. From "witchy cottagecore" sets to pop culture pastiches, the tarot has been reframed again and again—sometimes with beauty and creativity, often with commercial intent. But amid this endless cycle of designs and interpretations, a deeper question arises: _What happens when life delivers pain so raw and incomprehensible that no card or meaning feels relevant at all?_ I recently witnessed the sorrow of a young woman who endured a double tragedy. Her grandmother passed away. Only a week later, her best friend took her own life. She wasn’t looking for archetypes or spiritual metaphors. She was devastated. There was no card in the deck—no Death, no Ten of Swords, no Tower—that could hold or explain what she felt. Tears rolled down her face continually. And therein lies the flaw of the proliferation we see today. Most modern tarot decks exist in an insulated bubble, speaking primarily to themes of self-empowerment, vague "healing," or marketable aesthetics. They provide beautiful images and comforting phrases but often sidestep the harsh, chaotic, and unpredictable realities of human life. True grief, trauma, and the unanswerable nature of loss rarely find honest expression in the polished world of contemporary tarot publishing. ## Why this disconnect? Because designing another pretty deck is easier than grappling with the limits of symbolism. Because many creators are working from a place of marketing, not spiritual depth or experience with human suffering. Because the tarot itself was never meant to replace the direct, messy, human work of mourning, of facing mortality, or of holding space for someone who is shattered. ## So what can be done? First, we need to remember that the tarot is a _tool_, not a replacement for reality. In situations like the one I described, the best thing the tarot can offer is _presence_. Not interpretation. Not "messages." But a ritual space where the mourner can simply sit, hold the cards if they wish, and feel witnessed by something larger than themselves—even if no answers come. Second, we as tarot readers and creators must resist the urge to impose meaning where none exists. Silence is sometimes the most respectful response. If you draw cards for someone in crisis, allow for blankness. Allow for the possibility that no pattern can be seen yet—and may never be. Finally, we can cultivate tarot practices that are not about prediction or positivity, but about _companioning the human soul_ through darkness. This means developing tarot spreads and rituals designed not to "fix" grief but to honour it. To say, _Yes, this happened. I am here with you in it._ For this beautiful young lady who desperately cared for people, and was unprepared for the reality that she was impotent in helping anyone, I was finally able to point her in the direction of self-empowerment and individuation; she finally remembered there were people who cared for her, and she needed to allow them into her life. ## In conclusion The proliferation of tarot decks is not inherently bad. Creativity is a vital force. But when it detaches from the realities of the human condition, it becomes decorative rather than meaningful. In moments of profound loss, no card or image will provide the balm people truly need. That balm is human connection, compassionate listening, and the courage to sit with suffering without trying to transform it into a spiritual lesson or tidy narrative. If we want the tarot to remain relevant—not just trendy—we must reclaim its role as a tool for presence, not platitudes. #death #10-swords #the-tower --- ### Contact me The circle is open — if the work calls to you, or if you simply wish to say hello, you're most welcome. Email: [email protected] WhatsApp: [Message me here](https://wa.me/447918637940) ### Links to Paul on the web - [Patreon](https://www.patreon.com/paulhughesbarlow) - [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/@PaulHughesBarlow1) - [Facebook](https://www.facebook.com/paul.hughesbarlow) - [Bluesky](https://bsky.app/profile/paulhughesbarlow.bsky.social)